A Few Common Social Rules

So as we know there are so many unwritten social rules in our society. I was thinking about these different rules and I thought I would try to compile a list for your aid.

Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

There is nothing wrong with holding hands or showing your affection to your significant other in public. An occasional peck, hug or even kiss on the cheek is acceptable as well. But, let’s draw the line here no making out, or better yet no open mouth kissing. It’s not classy and no one wants to see two overly excited teenagers or college students eat each other’s face. It’s awkward enough as it is with your teeth or maybe even braces clanging against each other. Save that type of thing for a more private setting. And no you still can’t make out in a movie theatre. I don’t care if it’s dark and if you think everyone else is watching the movie, it’s not right.

My friend Tyler (you know the tall guy, with red hair, owlish figure) recently got married. Before his wedding I had never really seen him be too affectionate in public so it was a little strange to see him peck and kiss his lovely wife. At the reception after they cut the cake and of course smashed cake in each others’ faces, Tyler swooped in for a big open mouth kiss. Many of his friends and I were stunned to see such a kiss from Tyler and in front of so many people. Of course such a kiss was reasonable being his wedding day and so on. But, it was still a little weird and uncomfortable. Open mouth kisses are better left for a private setting.

Answering the phone in the library

I don’t know why people think this is acceptable, is definitely frowned upon. You can maybe answer your phone in a public area if only to quickly say “I’m in the library, call you back” Or if you are in the process of quickly leaving your study area to talk in a more secluded setting. You look like a gerk and no one wants to hear you argue with your mom or sister on the phone while they are trying to study.

Overdress than underdressed

Okay, I don’t know much about fashion. I’m still at the point where I look at clothes for the purpose of properly covering myself. Things such as plaid, paisley, or arguyle baffle me. But, I do know that in certain settings your manner of dress differs. A general rule, I think is good to follow is that it is better to overdress than underdress. I’ve been the gerk that shows up to a wedding reception in jeans far too often, it’s not so deece.

Ipod in public

If you’re walking around with your Ipod and someone stops to talk to you, take out your headphones. Even if the music is off, it still looks weird and the person you’re talking too doesn’t necessarily know if you’re listening to them or Selena Gomez. It’s the polite thing to do and will lead to a better conversation. Also don't sing along to your Ipod, it's weird and confusing to others, but if you do decide to do so keep it quiet. Finally, don't have your Ipod so loud that other people can hear it. It's slightly annoying and it's just weird for everyone else.

When it’s acceptable to call/text someone?

Don’t call or text anyone to initiate conversation or communication before 9:00 AM or after 10:00 PM. Very few people are truly morning people and if they are it’s just weird to get a call that early. Any time you get a call around this time from a random friend you’re always anticipating some emergency arising or that their call will be very important. But, it’s probably not. Everyone needs their personal time so keep the phone calls and texts during this hour to minimum. Of course, there are exceptions depending on your relationship with the person, of if you were just with the person you called, or if they initiated contact etc… But in general try to do this and it will help many people get a better night’s sleep and cut down on booty calls.

The Hierarchy of Communication

1.   Face to Face Chatting

We all know this is the best way to talk to someone, you can see their body language, see what they are wearing, there are no barriers or hindrances to communication. Although it may be awkward to tell someone how you really feel in person at times it is almost always the best way to communicate and get to now someone. Non verbal communication,  tone, and volume are also reflected, you learn way more about someone communicating like this than in any other way.  

2.   Phone

A nice long phone chat is a must if you want to be good friends with someone. Exchanging jokes, waiting out the awkward pauses, and laughing with someone on the phone is one of the better ways to communicate with someone. Although you can't see their face, you can still communicate with someone really well this way. 

3.   Letter or a note

Letters are personal and can be very emotional. This is why girls write and send off missionaries. I mean c'mon who doesn't want something in the mail, everytime you get a letter it's like you won something cool. Because letters are so painstaking to write they are often more personal and emotional than other communication. No one wants to take the time to write out small chat, they would rather write about how much they love you, or in the case of Chelsea Jones writing me on my mission, she wrote about how Buckley Hoffman was a much better kisser than I was. 

4.    Skype or Video Chat

Video chats are always weird because of the pauses, the fact that the other person is staring at themselves in the lower right corner of the computer and because it's just weird to watch someone through a screen. It's like your interrupting their life to watch them in their bedroom.  it is nice to chat and see the person. Despite the pauses, lag, and awkwardness. Video chats can be fun, like when you dress up, undress, bring props, and enjoy making funny faces. Also through some webcam and video chat services you can add hearts or party hats to yourself. That's deece and jokes like that are underutilized. 

5.     Texting

I still believe and value texting as a means to get out info to a lot of people fast, exchanging a quick joke, communicating when you can't call or telling someone something small. Texting is often confusing and painstaking when it comes to exchanging important info. It's nice that is so direct and someone nearly always reads a text the moment they get it, and then they will wait five minutes just to make the person think they actually have things to do. Texting is nice way to joke and keep in touch with friends but it's not the best way to actually get to know them. Returning a call with a text is almost an insult. Your dropping down 3 levels of communication. If someone wanted to text you, they would. If they wanted to call you, they probably don't want a text a back, unless you're in a setting where you can't talk. 

6.     Email 

Email is nice because you can type so much faster than you can write or text. You can communicate yourself usually pretty effectively but at the same time email at times almost too much of a business or robotic feel to it. I love to exchange stories, and catch up with friends but really how many of your friend's email addresses do you have?

7.     Gchat

Gchats great for exchanging quick jokes, links to pictures of Lady Gaga. I like how it's sort of exclusive like you don't Gchat with just anyone (although google is trying to change that by automatically adding everyone). It's quick and easy and if the person you're chatting with has a GWAM (generated words a minute, pronounced like the Island Guam) higher than 50. You can get some good quick jokes and responses. But's its too casually to be considered great conversation.

8.     Tweet

Twitter is great! I love reading tweets. Twitter is an extremely effective way to communicate jokes, basic information, pictures and video. Getting your tweets retweeted, is like the best thing ever. Also, anyone's going to feel good to get a mention on Twitter. But 140 characters isn’t enough to say anything really important or effectively communicate a great idea. Obama’s attempt to explain his plan for defecit reduction and economic recovery through Twitter is like Einstein trying to explain the theory of relativity in an Etch A-sketch.

9.    Facebook post

Okay although there are over 500 Million Facebook users it's not as good of a communicator as Twitter. Twitter is a newsfeed, Facebook is a database. Facebook posts are similar and even below a Tweet.  Not everyone is necessarily going to see it and even those who do probably don’t even want to see your Great Aunt asking about your dating life on your Facebook wall. Facebook posts are good for quick exchange of a funny anecdote, article, video, or some quick jokes. You can’t expect any real communication from a post.

10.     Facebook Message 

Messages are a little easier to send out and you can display more information. This is an effective way to get out info about an upcoming party or if you’re really desperate you can ask for a girl’s number through a message. Otherwise refrain from the messaging, use email.

11. Facebook Chat

No one should use the feature. Of the hundreds of friends on Facebook how many do you really want to talk to you? Not that many, let alone you don’t want to be harassed every time you log on Facebook to creep on your friend’s younger sibling or on that really cute person in your class you’ve never talked to or made eye contact with. This chat feature should never be used, except maybe to type Putnam to make a secret emoticon.

12.     Myspace/LDSplanet/Craiglistads/AOL Instant Messager etc 

Okay all of the above forms of communications are a joke. If you use these or think about using them you deserve to be called a nooooooob. They are obsolete, weird and not really used by anyone any more. Although I will admit Kesha has some pretty tight Myspace pics and vids. These things should become obsolete and forgotten about just like the Pony Express, the Telegraph and Pigeon Mail.  

Final question. Where would you put a telegram? I figured it too outdated to discuss, but if I got a telegram I sure would be pretty pumped.